I have reached the point in an event escalating life
Where I am ambivalent to external and internal strife.
I just continue in my swaggering upright way
To confront reality knowing that it will soon pass away.
I try to jam in to the moment all adventures of work and play
Mental and physical exorcise obscure and adorn each day.
Relishing experience be it a movie, game or dream,
Grasping for truth but only squeezing out only seem.
All those distractions in themselves become an end,
To enrichment and experience all other goals transcend.
Meaning and purpose of life are forged and melt away
As ambitions fade, mind blurs and bodily organs decay.
As age, fat, and pain invade my flesh, bones and brain,
I fight fear, depression, and delusion keeping myself sane,
Amid terror, moral decline, I see humanity in a bind.
Is there anything that I can do to make peace and love shine?
As body and mind mellows, matures and ripens to rots away,
My soul and spirit squirms, slithers, swirls and sways,
In a murky daze of a world crazed, relishing time as it's draining,
Vainly striving to somehow enhance every instant remaining.
Never expecting to make any sense out of life,
Or possibly balance out pleasure and strife
But knowing that just by surviving and being
That I am achieving the essence of spiritual freeing.
And that the sum of good and bad in the end
Will never balance, harmonize, or blend
Into anything that I can compute, fathom or understand,
It will all fade and merge into some kind of bland.