All hail to old grain alcohol!
That fermented potion makes us feel tall,
Lose inhibitions gain boldness and gall,
Romp, frolic, party, having a ball;
Drinking too much makes us brawl, fall and crawl.
To Bacchus the spirit divine
Of all intoxicating spirits and wine;
We drink with our heads whirling
As glass after glass of booze we are swirling.
Mind blurring awareness, hazy thinking,
All life's heaviness and starkness shrinking;
Social chatter, laughs, music, glasses clinking,
Nothing matters, especially how much we're drinking.
Oh, Bacchus let us explore your vast variety,
The various elixirs used to resist sobriety,
That your devotees choose in staggering piety,
We count your ways in their entirety.
Malt, hops, barley, and yeast make beer,
A bubbling essence, frothing, foaming cheer.
Light beer, malt beer, mere beer, near beer,
Gloating, floating, beer bellies bloating,
Guzzling, chugging, diluting realities fears.
Belching weird, jeered, toward apathy steered,
As we entertain beer bubbles blurred years.
Fine wine mellows the mind,
It's a pleasure to dine, relax and unwind,
The warmth inside makes us feel fine,
As inhibitions decline,
For more wine we pine,
As creeping intoxication twines and binds
We become inclined to recline
And rest a mellowed out wine drenched mind!
A craze for wine calls for tasting,
Stimulating taste buds in sipping and basting,
Connoisseur's discernment reaches new heights,
When relishing a brisk bouquet red or a cool clear white.
From cheap Muscatel the wino's delight,
To vintage Chablis, so delicate and light,
In odor, color, body and taste such passion
A festive way to get smashed in fashion.
Don't forget those bubbles that lighten the brain,
The cork popping power of effervescent champagne.
My heart beats a little quicker
As we digress on to hard liqueur!
If your sober state you choose to lose,
The fastest route is rot gut booze.
If a new cheap thrill you want to find,
Skip over the law's borderline
By clandestinely copping illegal moonshine.
Killing brain cells at a rate that's frightening,
Is easy when downing white lightning.
Sour mash ferments fast and frisky,
Into an assortment of strong spirited whisky.
Rye, bourbon, scotch and rum,
Though your blood can feel them hum,
Delightful ways to make the brain go numb.
Sake, brandy, cognac, cider, vodka, gin, liqueurs of many flavors,
Distillation of vegetation from many climes to sniff and savor.
The variations in taste make the imagination sail,
Mixing and drinking the unique savors of various cocktails.
Let's examine some of those drinkers
From society's elite to down right stinkers.
The well-dressed businessmen are sipping their gin,
Trying to forget their greed, corruption, and sin.
The blue-collar workers are swilling beer
Drowning drudgery and boredom in bubbling good cheer.
The idle indigent slowly swallows his wine,
Ignoring sloth and indolence, masking decline.
A diverse populace drinking for various reasons,
Trying to numb realities' piercing lesions
Or just to party and have a good time,
Breaking inhibitions and stepping out of line.
All sensibility is thrown ajar, driving away from a bar!
Smash, bash, crash, life is trashed,
Human heads bang against the dash.
Alcohol blurred awareness draining the brain,
Break squealing terror, nerve-racking strain,
Speed powered by booze going insane,
People slain in misery and pain,
Animals, children and babies get maimed,
What a shame, society is to blame!
May all good people walk home from the bar,
In a drunken stupor home is not very far.